Insomnia

OH the world of insomnia. Tired during the day and wide awake at night. Oh how I wish I was a teenager again and carefree. I slept good then, but I guess I had more time to stop and smell the roses.
After a long and busy day of dealing with others and my kids, I sit awake. I think of what to do with "this" situation or "that" one? What's for dinner tomorrow? Did I pack Maggie's snack? Are there enough socks in Wylie's drawer? Did I lock the door? Are the bills paid? Wonder how my friend is? Something made me mad or sad. Something got me thinking that I could have handled something differently. Someone said something that got me thinking. I was encouraged by something. I remembered something special from the kid's earlier days. Praying all is well.

So many thoughts!!! Where did they come from? When will they stop? I finally close my eyes and put my head down and either sit thinking or lay down and crash. Waking up in the morning is not fun. It's stolen my happy morning person, and it's left me with a foggy grumpy person. Drop the kids off and either go back to bed for a few hours or face the day. No time for those thoughts now. I have stuff to do and places to go. Phone rings and emails come in. Kids have so many questions. Fix dinner. Give baths. Read books. And then I'm back to the insomnia.
When did this pattern start? I'm still really not sure, but sometimes I think of it as "my time". My special time to reflect over life. Sometimes, it's my time to watch a movie or eat dinner(sometimes my first meal of the day). Sometimes it's just my time to plan.
I think having kids for so many years in a row made my sleep schedule completely got knocked off. Up in the middle of the night over and over, and then trying to sleep when they slept. Looking forward to nap time! People pulling and tugging on me physically and emotionally. It's like when you spin a spinner. It gets going, then spins really fast, and then it starts to slow and bobble until it stops. I guess that's what I am...a spinner. lol
It's going to be OK until summer. WHen summer comes, I have no time to stop and bobble around. That's why I like the pool so much. I can either sit quietly and soak up the sun, or I can jump in and be awakened by some freezing water.
I don't know if insomnia is my friend or foe. I love insomnia, because I do stop to think of all the little things. I have time to talk with my friends or just enjoy a moment of silence. I hate insomnia, because it leaves me tired and worn out. For right now, we have to be friends. We live together every day. So why not make a blog about it, and then go to bed. My thoughts are complete.